April 02 2018

Improve Your Life for Only $210 (plus tax) - The PickUp!

Note: The PickUp has been discontinued. Subscriptions now available.

Imagine you could go back in time to make a different choice. Maybe you would make a decision with your heart, instead of your brain - like selecting UMBC for a first round win on your bracket. Maybe you would go against the crowd and keep your online personal data secure by never joining Facebook. Maybe you would act like a normal human and not use a secret home equity loan to get your super-rich buddy out of a bind.

We can’t go back in time. We live with busted brackets, busted data, and busted leaders. But we can imagine a future where today’s decisions make our future selves not busted - decisions for an improved life.

Fast forward to next New Year’s eve. You are totally smashed and get reflective while Auld Lang Syne is hazily sung in the background. You ask yourself: What did I do this past year that was awesome? What decision could have I made that would make me say right now - Sweet Baby James, that was the best thing I did all year and I am better for it!

Let me help you out. The answer is The PickUp. This game-changing, can’t miss, no regret, best thing you will do all year panacea is a monthly subscription of locally grown flowers offered by LoCoFlo. It isn’t even difficult to obtain this sweet elixir. All you need to do is fill out this form and fork over a little scratch, or you can just show up at the shop each third Wednesday of the month April - October. (Update: now seasonal and available year-round - check out our The PickUp 2.0 post.)

Here are some made up quotes overheard at The PickUp last year:

“I’ve lost weight since joining The PickUp - I wasn’t even trying. In fact, I am eating more and exercising less. Plus my hair is thicker and less grey. It’s magic!”

“I’ve been feeling real frisky since my partner signed me up for The PickUp! I’ve been showing how much I appreciate it with some special attention." (I’m pretty sure that means sex.)

"The flowers have a calming affect on my children. They are delightful - the flowers, not the kids. The kids are still monsters, just a little more bearable.”

“After I joined The PickUp, my boss gave me a pat on the back and raise! Thanks LoCoFlo!”

“I’ve traveled the world, met with shamens, gurus, holy people. Nothing could cure my ills - then I found The PickUp.”

“Everything is better! Everything is wonderful!” Then fancy-pants actually started signing “Pure Imagination” from Willy Wonka and twirled out of the shop.

Joining The PickUp makes you the kind of person who says “Hell yes I picked the Retrievers, totally called it”, “no way I’m giving that nerd my info”, and “yeah, you’re on your own with that Stormy chick, bro”.

Join The PickUp. Your future self will thank you.

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